After the Beep

Date: 2025-04-19T15:32:36-04:00

Location: afterthebeep.tel

522 0:02 … Beep. 521 0:06 So now what do I do? 520 0:23 Please. Stop. Calling. Thanks 519 0:07 Summoning Mustard Man from San Diego 518 0:12 And now a message from Rick Astley 517 0:04 Henry Bob Junior the Third 516 0:09 The only April Fools is this site 515 0:58 A new genre called eatshitandidunno 514 0:22 A great microwave impression 513 0:42 What’s the point in lying to someone? 512 0:44 This like literally just happened 511 0:21 A prediction of sportsball future 510 0:19 All dogs should be able to vote 509 1:05 Memories of pain and television 508 3:41 Follow-up on Drop-Out (and travel in BC) 507 0:11 Check out Drop-Out by gray Folie 506 0:08 Just keep going, never give up 505 0:17 Good luck with your exams this month 504 0:37 You can’t hide forever 503 0:18 I don’t have any weed 502 0:30 I hope it makes you feel better, too 501 0:03 Happy Valentine’s Day 500 0:12 Fuck life, fuck shit, yeah 499 0:05 Aw, man… whaaa? 498 0:18 Do you like cows and cowboys? 497 0:43 Mustard man has been summoned 496 0:05 Mustard man, voodoo 495 0:05 Cunt. That’s it. Cunt. 494 0:08 Pick up my dick 493 0:14 Pick up, pick up, c’mon 492 0:06 No games, at least not yet 491 0:10 Keep it up, dude 490 0:10 I won’t stop you 489 0:15 Weed should be legal, I agree 488 0:15 Y’all wanna update your shit? 487 0:04 Hipster coffee shop 486 0:37 I just hope you’re doin’ good 485 0:35 Do, do, du do dut dooo 484 0:13 Please come back to me, Janice 483 0:13 Best of luck with your studies! 482 0:38 Maybe I’m all messed up 481 0:51 Happy 29th circle around the sun! 480 0:12 What is this website? Hello? 479 0:13 Crazy shit, keep it up 478 0:27 I still don’t know why I’m here 477 0:16 I don’t know why I’m here 476 0:16 I hope you like it in Sacramento 475 0:28 Live in the present 474 0:08 Hey, get back here! 473 0:34 I hope everyone has an amazing 2025 472 1:30 The voicemail paradox 471 0:08 Say bye 470 0:09 I love you so much, bye! 469 0:41 Geiger counter test 468 0:05 whuzzzuuup 467 0:07 I want a hippopotamus for Christmas 466 0:09 A joke about seagulls? 465 0:02 I’ve had sex with E.T. 464 0:20 I don’t know what I’m doin’, mate 463 0:43 I WILL have a happy Thanksgiving 462 0:12 I wake up every day, man 461 0:04 Hi, I’m Ethan 460 0:08 Hai guys, um bye 459 0:14 Have you been alright? 458 0:20 I got food poisoned, it made me angry 457 0:52 You only eat ass once 456 0:27 I’m working on it 455 4:10 She dove into my brain 454 0:05 Just a little ditty 453 0:51 I miss Vine 452 0:11 Boing boing boing boing boing 451 0:11 Seems like a pretty cool concept 450 0:27 Deleted the wrong voicemails 449 1:21 Mike Tyson wants you to be prepared 448 0:16 Sorry, I pissed in your fridge 447 1:13 I’ll always think of you 446 0:36 I miss you so freaking much (part 3?) 445 0:50 I hope you’re happy (part 2?) 444 0:34 I hope you’re happy 443 0:47 Yeah yeah, it’s called ADHD, pal 442 0:04 Yo, what’s good? 441 0:07 Check out WiiLink (if you have a Wii) 440 0:24 That happens to me sometimes, too 439 1:25 Life is wild, but you’re gonna be okay 438 0:08 Yoooo 437 0:39 Hello, I am a psychopath 436 0:51 Pepperoni is just a thick sausage 435 0:35 I hope you’re doing better now 434 1:09 Considering building a Bill Cipher shrine 433 0:16 I’m pooping right now 432 2:15 Coca-Cola Oreos are pretty good 431 0:27 Option #2, please 430 0:21 Jack is eat-in a ba-na-na 429 0:20 Please, call as much as you’d like 428 0:16 You’re all awesome 427 0:58 I miss you very much 426 0:08 I… dont know 425 0:09 It’s all coming back to me 424 1:52 On the utility of a lock pick set 423 0:50 It is 3am and I’m going crazy (part 2) 422 0:51 It is 3am and I’m going crazy (part 1) 421 0:09 I forgot what I was going to say 420 0:06 It’s not gay if you’re 5 feet apart 419 0:10 I don’t know what to say 418 0:10 Why don’t seagulls fly down by the bay? 417 0:16 Fuckin’ killed it 416 2:53 Life is short, be who you want to be 415 0:30 Going to see Nic Cage in Longlegs 414 2:20 Death of a cat (part 2) 413 5:01 Death of a cat (part 1) 412 1:13 There’s so much beauty in trying again 411 0:30 The bad moments don’t last forever 410 1:42 There are people out there who care 409 1:16 RE: I care about you, alright? 408 0:11 A joke that will crack you up 407 0:15 The electromagnetic spectrum is crazy 406 0:09 Your call is very important to us 405 1:27 Friendship is something I take seriously 404 0:16 Ready for the 4th? Pew pew 403 0:44 Ol’ Frankie was there 402 0:45 I hope you’re okay 401 0:25 I’m sorry for everything 400 0:24 I don’t have a clue, or do I? 399 0:19 Your books are overdue 398 0:08 Sorry, I was busy moving! 397 0:14 I hope it’s going to come together 396 0:08 For the record, Raven is weird (Evan too) 395 0:07 Goodnight everybody 394 0:22 Get the Takis Kettlez Fuego now 393 0:51 Every day is a new chance friend 392 0:48 Just sittin’ on the toilet 391 0:47 It’s so weird; I really like it 390 0:09 This is DS106 calling 389 0:08 I got the tickets and the booze 388 0:07 Is this the cat? I like cats 387 0:11 It’s not yet time for the moon to rise 386 0:09 … Hello? 385 0:07 I think I like Snooker Loopy the most 384 0:06 Dave Register plays Chet in Fallout 383 0:16 Hey… whaddup? 382 0:12 A lively call from the shower phone 381 0:05 I don’t know what to say, so hello 380 0:09 I don’t know what to say, so bye 379 0:08 Whatsuuup! 378 0:20 A reminder to pay your taxes 377 0:17 Goodnight everybody 376 0:14 I hope you’re having a great day 375 0:05 Your library books are overdue 374 0:19 I’m walking my dog 373 0:09 Cairo! Small chap, but immensely strong 372 0:18 I wasn’t… sure? but now I am 371 0:10 Hi Josephine 370 0:35 Is it me you’re looking for? (part 2) 369 0:28 Is it me you’re looking for? (part 1) 368 0:13 Oh, wait, I already said that 367 0:40 I don’t even know what to do 366 0:14 I can’t remember where I put my phone 365 0:02 Beep 364 0:05 Hey, baby 363 0:08 Keep being fabulous 362 0:46 Anyway, I hope you find a good chair 361 0:09 How do Ojibwe people make potatoes? 360 0:03 Hello, mate 359 0:37 Here’s one of them ASMR 358 0:18 Keep on doing, friend 357 2:21 Michael Riconosciuto on Encryption 356 0:10 A joke about a bicycle 355 0:03 MMMmmmmmmm 354 0:14 She’s my baby (part 3) 353 0:27 She’s my baby (part 2) 352 0:08 She’s my baby (part 1) 351 0:06 Everybody should learn to play bass 350 0:03 After the beep 349 0:12 Letting you know I left a voicemail 348 0:13 Baboon vs badger, who would win? 347 0:19 I am so sorry 346 0:21 Join me and I will complete your training 345 0:09 Seems to work from Italy :) 344 0:18 Be a kind driver and pull up 343 0:16 It’s 11:09 (11:08:59 on my clock) 342 0:07 A message for the legends 341 0:20 Heelllp meeeeeee 340 0:10 I Dream of Jeannie theme 339 0:21 A message for Christine 338 0:03 YOU leave a message after the beep 337 0:03 Is this real life? 336 0:35 I don’t know what I’m doing here 335 0:04 Hello, hello 334 0:07 Please wear comfortable shoes 333 0:06 Trevor doesn’t want you to know this 332 0:28 Bullying is never okay 331 0:05 Hello hello hello 330 0:13 Hi from Chris and David 329 2:26 Banana Phone acapella 328 1:20 Recipe for chocolate creme eggs 327 0:31 I got the RAM 326 0:10 Greetings from Bangalore 325 0:04 The moon covers the sun 324 0:06 HELLo 323 1:26 Zach does not lack 322 0:13 We all need some more razzle dazzle 321 0:28 … Skibidi 320 0:07 A very soft “hi” 319 0:07 Corndogs 318 0:33 Numbers station recording? 317 0:06 Ain’t it great to be crazy? 316 0:19 Really excited for you to come on over 315 0:06 It is I, Computer Man 314 0:44 A brief history of Friday 313 0:08 It’s me, I’m doing my best 312 1:04 Your face is as beautiful as rain 311 0:46 The day has come to find myself 310 0:14 Shout out to the cryptocucks 309 1:11 You need to take a lap, dude 308 0:24 Recording of a modem handshake 307 0:07 Copyright trolls are the worst 306 0:29 Opus No. 1 is a banger 305 0:19 I listen to all of them :) 304 0:08 I love you and miss you 303 0:04 Ehwhazaaaaap 302 0:05 Last I heard, probably September? 301 0:07 Mable, remember to take your SSRI 300 0:13 Trying out the voicemail inbox 299 0:19 Time traveller from 2063 298 0:41 A sleepy Thursday morn’ arrives 297 0:13 Is anybody there? 296 0:11 Can you hear me now? 295 0:15 Did it beep yet? 294 2:20 Move Your Body a cappella 293 0:13 I don’t actually have anything to say 292 0:04 I’m returning your call 291 0:11 Qqqqqqqqqqqqq 290 0:14 It was the clouds 289 0:14 Tom’s Diner 288 0:06 Rock hard action 287 0:03 Very nice voice 286 0:17 You matter, alright? 285 0:06 Megatron, you’ll never defeat me 284 0:25 I’ve left you a bunch of messages 283 0:09 Hi from Canada 282 0:13 Soft bones Troy, son of no bones Don 281 0:07 Uh oh, stinky, poopy, PBPBpbpb 280 0:20 Nice try 279 0:10 Gunna open a can of whoop ass 278 0:27 Shout out to The File>New Show! 277 0:05 Hello from Montreal 276 0:09 Be excellent to each other 275 0:06 Hello, hello, hellooOoo 274 0:06 Are you coming home? 273 0:07 Beep bop beep bop boop bop beep 272 0:07 What’s the next Airbnb? 271 0:03 Happy birthday stranger! 270 0:08 You heard of that app called Klak? 269 0:08 We’re going to Sacramento 268 0:03 Hi Scott 267 0:10 I love virtual assets 266 0:08 And I like to do drawings 265 0:12 Hope you have a good day! 264 0:09 Rain makes me sad 263 0:29 I do not feel like being micromanaged 262 0:23 BeeeeeeeeEeeeEEeeeeeEEeeeeeep 261 0:11 I’m looking at a bird poster right now 260 0:07 Gimme some 259 0:19 Never Gonna Give You Up 258 0:27 Looking for “Dying for Krabby Patties” 257 0:13 Happy late Easter 256 0:06 Clearing the ol’ throat 255 0:24 69 nice 254 0:06 A salmon swam where?! 253 0:13 Greetings from Mexico 252 0:25 Hi Gabe, this is your wife 251 0:21 Can you call me back, please? 250 0:06 Hope she’s okay 249 0:33 Telnet to bbs.iscabbs.com 248 0:25 Morningtown Ride 247 0:05 Tarzan’s first voicemail 246 0:09 Lunch break quickie 245 0:09 Hey, it’s Michael 244 0:21 Hello my future girlfriend 243 0:09 No AI here, just lil ol’ me 242 0:05 Holo holo holo, YEWWW 241 0:05 We’re no stranger to love 240 0:06 Testing 123, testing, testing 239 0:08 Bonjour! 238 0:14 Smells like beef pastrami 237 0:13 WassawassawassawasaaaAAAAAA 236 0:40 I care about you, alright? 235 0:08 Lookin’ forward to disco 234 0:10 Wow, there’s way too many now 233 0:04 I love popsicles 232 0:09 Get farted on 231 0:09 Hi, is anyone there? 230 0:02 Hi, who are you? 229 0:02 Hey, we did well today 228 0:03 How you doinn? 227 0:06 Sending a friendly OWOOOOOO 226 0:15 Are you INSANE?! 225 0:23 What is this? Do I leave a message? 224 0:07 I’m the operator 223 0:18 Debbie, please get your daughter 222 0:12 Wishing you a safe road trip 221 0:05 Ravioli ravioli 220 0:08 Pete the diddler leaving a test 219 0:04 YeEWW, have a bunch of voicemails 218 0:06 Horses aren’t real 217 0:06 Meow, meow, meow meow 216 0:03 Hello 215 0:08 Just want to say hi 214 0:20 Just ringing about my appointment 213 0:48 Taking a train to sleepytown junction 212 0:05 Teenage mutant ninja turtles 211 0:11 What? WhAAat?! Hiiii 210 0:04 Hey, this is me 209 0:05 We have too many comms channels 208 0:16 Modem handshake 207 0:06 Jar Jar Binks is a Sith 206 0:13 Do you like vtubers? 205 0:06 Thanks for creating this thing 204 0:02 Gang activity 203 0:10 Hello internet from London 202 0:52 Strange animal noises 201 0:04 Hello from Canada 200 0:05 Greetings from the Netherlands, byee 199 0:08 I’m calling for the man, dude 198 0:08 Whistling a lil tune 197 0:20 We missed you yesterday 196 0:04 Hellowwwe 195 0:39 Let’s get ice cream at the mall 194 0:17 I would like 1 pepperoni slice 193 0:11 Stop using my toothbrush 192 0:08 Good morning, cheerio, bye 191 0:21 The crow glistened in the sun 190 0:08 Uhm, hello hello hello 189 0:18 Boom chicha baoomm 188 0:06 Michael from Vsauce 187 0:09 Carlos ain’t here, man 186 0:37 Dark cannot exist without light 185 0:52 They fired me 184 0:08 I love pastrami 183 0:24 Bout to get back on the road 182 0:19 Dropping a load off here 181 0:15 Hello from Taiwan 180 0:06 This is definitely a message 179 0:05 Awooooyeahhh 178 0:08 I totally got you 177 0:12 Ah beep, ah beep beep 176 0:03 You up? 175 0:12 Just got outta jail, gimme a ring back 174 0:21 Marana from California 173 0:31 I need those library books back 172 0:09 The moment I wake up 171 0:13 Hi from Japan 170 0:04 Uh… yeah 169 0:09 I want to be freeeeee 168 0:08 Long whimpering 167 0:11 Mara, call me back 166 0:10 I’ve never trusted Klingons 165 0:04 Buy gold 164 0:13 It’s the end and I feel fine 163 0:06 You actually dropped your mom 162 0:04 I’m glad I did it too 161 0:04 You dropped your mom 160 0:08 It’s not always about the UwU 159 0:15 Just a friendly voicemail jingle 158 0:15 Just don’t open it, okay? 157 0:25 Keep your head in the game, man! 156 0:45 Please add me back 155 0:03 Regarding Bill O’Reilly 154 0:03 I’m a real boy! 153 0:05 This is my message after the beep 152 0:12 I did not get the package 151 0:06 Beeeep 150 0:08 I am a stabbing robot 149 0:04 I use Arch, btw 148 0:28 There’s a weird smell 147 0:21 Nissin instant noodles 146 0:09 Man, you’ve got a lot of friends 145 0:21 You ever looked up the rules for pool? 144 0:07 Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica 143 0:11 Hello, are you still working? 142 0:29 Oh, Better Far to Live and Die 141 0:33 I accidentally hotboxed the apartment 140 0:24 Where did I put my walnuts? 139 0:05 Beep bop boop beep boop 138 0:07 Here’s to a clear eclipse 137 0:05 Where’s my car?? 136 0:23 Yo dawg, what’s up, what’s happenin? 135 0:14 Live from hacker’s town 134 0:05 Press 1 to kindly… 133 0:02 Testing again 132 0:05 Um, yeah. What? Um 131 0:03 Testing 1234 130 0:05 HlOo, hlo hlo 129 0:13 Knock knock 128 0:23 Sweetwater do be like that 127 0:30 Going through a bit of a tough time 126 0:26 Congratulations Shinji! 125 0:06 Hey 124 0:28 Happy birthday dear person 123 0:30 I would also like some ice cream 122 0:55 A very nice duet 121 0:46 Drift Away 120 0:39 We are all connected by the pyramids 119 0:04 The truth is out there 118 0:05 Four big guys 117 0:04 MEowwwwwwwW 116 0:20 A poem about geese 🪿 115 0:22 I hope that your life is full of life 114 0:09 Greetings from México 113 0:27 BeeP, BeeP, BeeP, BeeP 112 0:07 Hey, how you doin? 111 0:12 1-800-DEEZ-NUTS 110 0:07 HelLO, how is yOUr day going? 109 0:12 We should go out and get a beer 108 0:05 Hey, hello everyone, goodbye 107 0:04 Have a wonderful day 106 0:18 Don’t worry about the cat food 105 0:05 Testing, ciao 104 0:07 Who’s ready to go? 103 0:24 Calling for my Koolaid appointment 102 0:05 Gimme one second 101 0:03 Yo, what’s up? 100 0:26 Twinkle twinkle, little star 99 0:22 JavaScript is a fad 98 0:10 It’s not the same river 97 0:18 Do we need to talk today? 96 0:09 Lenny Bruce is not afraid 95 0:14 They say to live in the present 94 0:13 Dingaling, clang clang 93 0:21 Dialup in your area 92 0:06 Yo dude, what’s up man? 91 0:22 Something really funny happened 90 0:20 Yo yo yo, this is super fresh 89 0:25 Frisbee is a wonderful idea 88 0:18 Can’t wait to toss the disc 87 0:05 I love my cat, that is all 86 0:15 Let’s work on an app together 85 0:18 Elmo misses you 84 0:15 Calling about the thing 83 0:23 9^2 and not a bit more 82 0:04 Hey, this is John 81 0:09 Bad burrito, good brownie 80 0:17 Paul the computer guy 79 0:35 This is me calling from Mexico 78 0:08 Banananananas 77 0:08 Whazaaaaa!!! 76 0:06 Been asking myself that for years 75 0:08 Phil, we’ve got to go to the eclipse 74 0:18 Calling for hair extensions 73 0:18 Karl with a K in Hawaii 72 0:10 In a dream I was a werewolf 71 0:13 Testing 123 70 0:39 Dan wishes you a good night 69 0:14 Hey, Ethan, It’s been a long time 68 0:17 We keep trying to reach you 67 0:07 The alternative that doesn’t track you 66 0:26 ooooooOOOOOOooooooOOOOOoooo 65 0:11 Hello, I love Italy 64 0:07 Beautiful day in Tacoma, WA 63 0:07 I just love it 62 0:05 This is a test 61 0:14 Need to find my C64 for this one 60 0:03 Hehlowww 59 0:02 PBPBPBPBpbpbbphhh 58 0:15 Starting to feel pretty depressed 57 0:07 That place I put that thing that time 56 0:42 The 4th dimension phantom 55 0:15 We’ve been trying to reach you 54 0:47 Your application has been denied 53 0:14 I will fix it 52 0:10 Shhhh, keep it our little secret… 51 0:15 Are you free to come out and play? 50 0:12 Tell me, when will you be mine? 49 0:17 Just a little tune on the guitar 48 0:49 Now for the forecast 47 1:15 I’m a complete catch 46 0:06 Hello, and welcome to Moviephone! 45 0:25 RE: Kids these days 44 0:28 I am finally the popular kid 43 0:30 Say hi! Say hello! 42 0:24 I would love to go for frisbee later 41 0:14 It’s driving me nuts 40 0:17 Salutations, much love 39 0:12 Please leave a message after ??? 38 0:07 David Attenborough is THE best 37 0:04 What’s up? 36 0:05 Oh, oh my god 35 0:07 Stephen, get off the damn phone 34 0:49 I miss those days too 33 0:14 Happy birthday to me 32 0:04 Ooooaaaaaaahhhhhhh 31 0:12 Who’s boop? Is this beep? 30 0:04 Hello~o~o~o~o 29 0:49 A blast from the past 28 0:05 Hellooo 27 0:02 Something about a child? 26 0:19 Wear proper glasses for the eclipse! 25 0:16 It’s Dan again 24 0:19 I’m Dan and I’m just great <==3 23 0:06 Very cool 22 0:18 Whistling a tune 21 0:55 Kids these days 20 0:13 ??? 19 0:20 Animals are cool, I like animals 18 0:08 Your refrigerator is running 17 0:06 Farewell, toodle-too 16 0:08 Hello world, this is a message 15 0:07 Welcome to planet Earth 14 0:34 I mean like really steep stairs 13 0:02 Heheh 12 0:12 Never stop loving yourself, bitch! 11 0:41 Hoping for a tornado in a far off field 10 0:03 Hack the planet! 9 0:35 This is Jacob calling about your colon 8 0:28 It’s 1994 calling, things are extreme! 7 0:40 Greetings from the Black Sea coast 6 0:15 Tonight I went fishing 5 0:43 Happy Easter, Jesus 4 0:58 Thank you to Ellie 3 0:23 Check out Blue Skies Over Alaska 2 1:23 Boy, am I overwhelmed 1 1:01 Yooooo, I LOVE you dude